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Attacks from the Wild Side

These are frightening times, both in the real world and in the world that’s directly under your roof.

There are people out there who would steal your socks out of your sock drawer.

There are people who would steal your identity right out of your wallet.

There are people who would steal your old clunker right out of the garage.

Some of you have purchased and installed X10 surveillance cameras, motion sensors and an Action Home video sensor to protect yourself from the weird and crazy.

Some others don’t bother putting up any protection, hoping that someone will steal your miserable identity, steal the holy socks from your sock drawer and put that old clunker right out of its misery.

Even YOU are a possible victim of dangerous times.

Imagine an alligator swimming in your toilet, a bat flying through your house, or a brown bear walking casually through your living room. You might want to be aware of unusual guests coming to visit. These guests tend to have bad manners, tend to be hungry, and more likely than not are carnivores with an anger management problem.

Just in the last week, a bear has casually walked into a Lake Tahoe casino, and a bat has taken refuge in a New York newsroom. Ordinary people who one minute were stressing about losing all their money at a blackjack table, or stressing about being the first with a scoop, suddenly were stressing about being lunch for some unlikely guests.

Imagine sitting in your easy chair one slow summer Sunday afternoon, and seeing a large grizzly bear on the picture-within- a-picture surveillance scene during the big game. You might first want to wait to see if the batter hits a grand-slam home run, and then see if your front door is open or closed. Should it be open, you probably have enough time to proceed to the fruit cellar and collect some alternative lunch ingredients for your unexpected guests.

Remember that some wild beasts are very camera shy and they might also get angry if they suspect that you’ve recorded their image without a permission slip. This also goes for any guard dogs you might have scoping the place. A guard dog recently became so infuriated that it was being photographed that it ripped apart the contents of a teddy bear museum in London. Among the damage, a teddy bear once owned by Elvis Presley was chewed to bits.

If you still haven’t acquired any surveillance equipment from X10, I would suggest that you get busy and acquire some cameras. Remember that right now that the cameras are available at special “bandit” prices. Imagine a top-of-the-line “Vanguard” outfit for a mere $299.

Remember, being able to identify unexpected visitors can help prevent young carnivores from being led down a path of crime.

Do you want to be responsible for turning Smokey the Bear into a killer?


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