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Protect Yourself from Carnivorous Reptiles — and Alligators

White women are being eaten by alligators in Florida. Pat Robertson says there is a tsunami on the way to the Pacific Northwest this year. The West Wing and Commander-in-chief have been cancelled, while George W. Bush reportedly still has more than two years left on his contract.

Are you afraid yet?

Here are my Seven Effective Habits for Still- Existing People:

1. You can hold your hands over your eyes, stick your fingers in your ears and sing out “La, la, la, lah, lah, lah, … I don’t hear you!”
2. Find a small cottage deep in the mountains of Northeastern Montana where the alligator population is minimal. 3. Here you can consider what you might do with your new-found waterfront property, and test your wiring skills while you visit the post-office.
3. Lock yourself into a room with candles, a giant poster of Martin Sheen and a non-stop running of West Wing reruns on DVD..
4. Avoid alligators
5. Avoid Florida.
6. Avoid white women.
7. Avoid Pat Robertson.

Still, there is at least one slightly more proactive means of protecting yourself from carnivorous reptiles… alligators too.

Consider the X-10 Surveillance Camera that gives you an alligator-proof window on the world. For the ridiculously low price of $79.99 you can mount this camera all over your property and view full-color pictures of anything that approaches — be they religious evangelists, fictional or actual presidents of the United States.

Don’t misunderestimate the dangers that are all too ready to present themselves at your door.

With an X-10 surveillance camera you can “Bring ‘em on.”


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cool thanx

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