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North Korean Fireworks Traced to North Carolina?

Agents from the Department of Homeland Security were questioning a North Carolina parent Wednesday, after it was discovered that a middle-school student had been chatting on My Space with an account registered to North Korean President Kim Jong-il.

Homeland Security was notified after the North Carolina town discovered its entire public fireworks display had been stolen just hours before the North Korean leader began testing at least 10 missiles over the Sea of Japan. "I don't understand how Mr. Jong-il got interested in my kid, "the parent said, "Perhaps he figured that North Carolina was just like North Korea – a people's republic."

The parent says he found out about the conservations just the day before July 4, when he installed an X10 PC to TV Video Control Kit on an upstairs computer used by his kids. "It was certainly worth the less than $40 to see what my daughter was doing online," the parent said. "It seemed innocent enough, and I was real happy to know that she had apparently learned a second language at her tender age."

The parent said he did not notice anything strange when the daughter asked for a ride to ship an international package at the last minute. "Well, she's a smart kid, and she has pen pals all over the world."

Thanks to the PC to TV Video Control Kit, however, the parent was able to not only monitor the conversation with Kim Jong-il, but also to go upstairs later and save the conversation to a file. "Mr. Jong-il seemed like a respectable man, and did not make any suggestive remarks to my daughter," the parent said. "He did suggest, however, that were would be " buckets of kimchee" in this for her… and boy, we all love kimchee in this family.

Homeland Security officials and town fathers did not comment on whether or not there was any plutonium within the stolen fireworks. Town fathers say the explosives were secured at an undisclosed location known only by authorized parties and readers of a local middle school blog.

"Be assured that our town would use only 'safe and sane' fireworks in a display," the mayor told officials of the city's insurance company.

"Sane?" Kim Jong-il was heard to reply.


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