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A Hole in X10's Doughnut of Protection

It was great news for X10’s Big Guy, after a stressful week. A reporter had passed through a little town well beyond nowhere, in between far, far away and “you don’t want to go there.”

The entire village of 30 homes and businesses was protected by X10 Home Automation. In a town where the most severe crime is usually toilet paper wrapped around a house, this little place still felt the need to protect itself.

Yes, there was a major highway coming through town, 100 miles from the nearest big city. There was a gas station, there was a convenience store, and a coffee shop. This wasn’t one of those national chains where you have to speak a foreign language (“Skinny, decaf,short latte’, no whipped) but an old-fashioned mom and pop establishment where coffee sold for a nickel, not long ago. The booths were covered in faded green vinyl, with occasional splashes of duct tape. If you looked closely, there was duct tape on the wait person’s apron as well.

It was a place where you went when you had enough heartburn pills. As the Big Guy entered town, he knew it wasn’t for him. It was time to check out the one place that was left unprotected – and perhaps sell them the newly reduced Pro2000 system.

Of course, there was the donut shop…It was the donut shop that had absolutely no X10 automation devices. “Hey, this is a donut shop, the sheriff is here most of the day,” the shop’s owner told the Big Guy, who had to sample the local merchandise. “Are you in law enforcement too?”

“We’re in law enforcement prevention,” the Big Guy said, chomping down on a Boston Crème. “By putting up a home automation system, you don’t have to deal with the garbage that goes along with a crime. Imagine, no police reports, no calling the insurance company, no dusting for fingerprints, no chalk marks on the floor…”

“Hah, all we have in this town is “driving while intoxicated,” the donut shop owner told the Big Guy. “Fortunately, we haven’t had to wipe anyone off the road for some time.”

“What does the sheriff do, when he’s not in the shop – I don’t see him here?” the Big Guy asked.

“He could be filling out paper work, he could be having a fling with the local floozie….”

“Aha!” the big guy saw an opportunity.

“So, what would you say if I said “stick ‘em up, right now?”

“Well, we’ve got just one honey bun left,” the donut shop owner said. “Is that sticky enough?”

“Wise guy, eh?” the Big Guy said. “Well – stick ‘em up!”

“Uhm, I’ve never been held up at the wrong end of a car alarm remote control before!” the donut shop owner said, chuckling to himself.”

“Dang,” the Big Guy said… “I can’t get anything right…. Give me another Boston Crème.”


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