Furry Bandits Leave 'Em Screaming
They are an entirely new generation of terrorists, these young, fur-wearing bullies cruising down the back woods without a care in the world. They are committed omnivores, leaving no vegetable or animal untouched.
Their faces look much like the midnight bandit that has terrorized Kent, Washington in recent weeks. Yet these are no compassionate bandits, they have been known to leave even human blood in their wake. Just 50 miles from X10 headquarters, in the capitol of the state of Washington, women scream at night, it is no longer safe for them to walk with their pets.
One might think that this close to X10, someone might have set up motion sensors, surveillance cameras or at least a machine that goes “ping,” somewhere in the path of thse night stalkers. Yet, they continue to roam without interdiction, leaving only garbage cans and dead pets in their wake.
TERRORIST RACCOONS FRIGHTEN OLYMPIA.
Raccoons have changed a lot since they served as mascots for the Lake Placid Winter Olympics, and a starring role in a Disney movie. The glaring headlines say it all. A woman experiences a digital attack as the raccoons aim for her fingers while she attempts to free her cat – a poor feline preparing to become a raccoon’s evening meal.
In the state of Washington, animal control officials must pass thorough physical and psychological examinations to prove that they would not frown in the direction of a rabid housefly. This is a state that appreciates its wildlife. But even some of these seasoned officials are getting bewitched, bothered and bewildered as more and more reports come in of raccoons behaving badly. Now, the animal control officials are suggesting that starving the raccoons is the only way to control their behaviors.
“People shouldn’t leave human or pet food where the raccoons can get them,” one Olympia animal control officer warned.
There is, however, a more humane way to get to these furry terrorists. Find the raccoon’s route and put some X10 lamp modules and motion sensors along the way. When the lights go up, turn on the Vanguard cameras and let the raccoons show off their talents. Who knows, with a powerful microphone you might pick up some new Seattle music sound.
At the very least, we might find the midnight bandit in the bunch.
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Posted by: Anonymous | October 19, 2006 09:29 PM